We're half way through what has been so far a mouth-watering WDC tournament and last nights white hot tossing action was no exception as a pumped up hyped up Kevin Painter threatened to brush aside 13-times World Champion Phil 'The Power' Taylor by taking the first set with a intimidating three dart average of 114. But once composed and eye gotten in, The Power began to show why he's the most amazing and dominating champion of his or any other sport for that matter by pummelling Painter into submission to take the match by 4 sets to 1.

Jmaes 'The Machine' Wade, ranked number 3 in the world, also went through but in far less unconvincing circumstances stuttering and nervously edging his way to victory against a resolute Phil Eccles who certainly wouldn't have been expecting a cake walk against the 24 year-old from Aldershot?

With Raymond Van Barneveld also crushing all before him this tournament promises to be as irresistable as Salma Hayek holding a bottle of Glenmorangie and a ticket to the Morrissey/Marr reunion gig at the 02 Arena? And all this plus the national treasure that is Sid Waddell enchanting the viewing public with pearls of commentatory genius...

It's worth watching purely for Waddell isn't it? The darts on the Beeb, no matter how good the likes of Wolfie and The Count are, it's got to be the Sky league purely for Waddell.

The Beebs tounament is like the AutoWindscreens Shield to Skys Champions League?

Phil Taylor is just stunningly awesome, I don't think there has ever been anyone more dominant in any sport? But you have to take your hat off whilst proffering a generous amount of doff-arge to Sky for glamourising this sport which surely must be the last bastion of working class pastimes which hasn't been invaded by the middle-classes or the mega corporations?

It's Mardle V Stompe later which should prove to be a real clash of personalities, Stompe recently beat Taylor in a tournament in Germany and is in the form of his life...Might be worth an each way tickle Sid?

Well the mercurial Ko Stompe is filling his Dutch clogs against a Hawaiian-shirted Wayne Mardle who to be fair, may as well have been in Honolulu than the white-hot atmosphere of The Ally Pally for this slaughtering? With Stompe a whopping 3 sets up and 2-1 up in legs in the fourth set, it's looking like first blood to the Dutch on this day where we see four matches pitting Englishmen against the flying Dutchmen...

Tantalising isn't the word, I think it may be Grease?

And Ko Stompe goes through to the Quarter Finals trouncing the crowd favourite Wayne Mardle and winning over the vociferous crowd by hitting a double Bullseye in the prgress as the fans chant "Play up Stompe...Stompe play up". This bloke is on fire and surely after James Wades unconvincing performance last night can be along with Barney the only man to challenge Phil Taylors sheer magnificence?

This WDC competition has been brilliant, hasn't it?

I like to think that I'm fairly versatile with regards to sports in that I can sit down and watch anything, why I've even watched the curling during the winter olympics and you'd struggle to beat that shit, but the standard of arrows being thrown here has been of the exceptional variety. Wayne 'Hawaii five-oh' Mardle's early exit by the inform and on fire Co 'The matchstick' Stompe today must be sending a shiver of fear up the pylons of Phil Taylor's back as he's one of the only men this century to beat the great man..

Barney Versus Baxter tonight should be enthralling, I can only see a Barney victory as the Vampire is well past his best? Itwill be interesting to see if Wade will step up a gear or two tonight against a unfancied but capable Van Der Voort?

This tournament is already turning out to be one of the best. Eacg match seems to be a clash of tungsten titans?

Compelling isn't the word? I think it's cyanacrolyte?

And to think that the Dutchman nearly missed this tournament due to ill health as he had a severe case of bronchitis prior to the first round brought on by him sleeping in the back of his Leyland pick up.

Yeah, you've guessed it, it was a case of Vincent van cough..

Stunning. Purely stunning arrows were on display at Londons Ally Pally last night as two veteran heavyweights stood toe to toe threw off the gloves and slugged out an epic battle that enthralled all who viewed this dramatic contest.

Ted Baxter threw like a man possessed especially when 2 sets to 1 down and Van Barneveld looked to step up the gears, but Baxter found something from somewhere, a spark of fight from the very depths of his mortal soul, to take the classy Rolls Royce-esque Raymond Van Barneveld to the very last dart. It went to a marathon 5 sets all and then a final tie-breaking set which saw a phyisically and mentally shattered Van Barneveld appear to throw it all away to a rejuvenated and rampant Ted Baxter, but maybe the pressure was all too much for the Lancastrian as he missed a golden chance to go through to the quarter finals by fluffing a double eight leaving the door just slightly ajar for the wounded beast that was the tiger Van Barneveld who drew his very last breath of fight to fire home a double top finish with what was the very last dart of this amazing match.

Today sees Phil 'The Power' Taylor, current world champion (see what I did there?) take on the in-form Ko/Co Stompe, I couldn't be anymore abuzz with anticipation if I was a hungry bumble bee flying gleefully towards a big wide open wild carnation literally dripping with lovely wet sloppy pollen...

Gripping isn't the word, I think it's dexterity?

Brilliant game bax v barn

i find the commentary just as entertaining though

Unfortunately the God that is Sid Waddell wasn't tatering on that game, but some of the puns coming out last night were woefully painful, almost as bad as anything you'd see on here loike?

The blackpool puns we're worse than panjys..


Could this be the sea of change.....baxter is illuminating....has barny met his pier....

Whoops! That tantalising fixture is not on today but actually tomorrow night 9.15pm...

Numpty isn't the word, I think it's twunt?

Well, I'm trying to find a suitable word to describe the awesome display that Phil 'The power' Taylor put on last night in disposing of Co 'Greased lightning' Stompe last night in the third of four quarter finals of the PDC, and I'm struggling to find a word in the Queen's English that is powerful enough.

To say that the 13 time World Champion put the Dutchman to the sword would be an understatement. Throwing an average of 108.8 over a course of four of the straightest sets you'll ever see was poetry in motion. Even Syd Waddell was speechless at times, instead letting Phil's darts do the talking..

As I said in a text last night to my illustrious friend Lobster, the man's different gravy..

I loved Stompes philosophical outlook as Phil Taylor was pounding him into submission he just smiled and had a laugh with the crowd? To be fair that was about all he could do, Taylor was stunning, electrifying and fearsome. Waddell likened him to Genghis Khan and why not? he's just as gruesome and unmerciful in his execution of all before him.

Jelly Versus Barney today should prove to be a fierce clash, for sure. But as Panjas texts will testify, Phil 'The Power' Taylor is indeed a very different gravy.

Well it was a night of two extremes last night at the Ally Pally as the PDC World Darts Championship quarter finals were wrapped up. First up was number 3 seed James Wade Versus Aussie/Geordie bad boy Nicholson, and to be fair it was probably the most boring game of darts I've ever seen in my life and I used to play for the Wagon & Horses? I don't think either player hit a three dart of average of over 85? It was terrible fare and poor old Co Stompe must have been watching that and wondering why he couldn't have drawn one of these turkeys instead of drawing the finest sportsman the world has ever seen? Anyway, Wade went through and then came the second quarter final...

The two Dutchmen put on a dazzling display of arrowmanship, Raymond Van Barneveld Versus Jelle Klaasan was scintillating stuff, Barney was as inter-galactic as Taylor was the other night even hitting the first ever PDC 9 dart finish. Jelle played well averaging 95 with three darts which is very respectable, but Barneys average of 108 was just unanswerable, unless you're Phil Taylor of course, and surely after tonights semi-finals which sees Barney take on the unimpressive James Wade first followed by a steady but simply not good enough Mervyn King taking on Phil 'The Power' Taylor, we'll see a Taylor V Barney grand finale.

Amazing isn't the word, I think it's Buttplug?

So tonight we see what is being billed as the greatest darts match of all time. The PDC (Painter & Decorators Caulk) World Darts Championship final sees Phil 'The Power' Taylor take on Raymond Van Barneveld in what should be a gripping contest of wits, ability and temperament from the two finest sportsmen on the planet.

You can get 1/3 on The Power or a whopping 9/4 on Barney, If I was a betting crustacean, and to be fair sometimes I claw a few winners from somewhere, I would look at having a cheeky punt on Taylor to win 7 sets to 6 at 6/1.

Let the dream final commence...

Some books are offering odds as high as 11-4 for a Barney win which I think is a tad generous but this is because the wise money has gone on the Power who's odds have been cut to 1-4.

If he can hold his nerve like he has done in previous rounds I fancy Barney for the upset. He's had steel-like erm, nerves thus ergo far and I think he can carry it through to the big one, the main event, the erm, ach, you know what I mean..

What's the word you're looking for Bobby?

Take your pick from the following : Carnage, anihilation, destruction, touch your toes on the oche drop your trousers and take this maelstrom of a Phil 'The Power' Taylor dicking!

It could have been a different score of course had Barney managed to put away the key doubles which for some reason eluded him? because apart from his finishing he played well, averaging around 102 I think? But Phil Taylors 110 world record breaking 3 dart average was just sublime like an ancient Greek archer firing arrows into the heavens but yet fierce like the fist of a drunken Scottish rapist?

Most mortal people after a fortnight of such intense competition and epoch-making achievement plus £125,000 earned for the kitty, would probably rest for a month or two? Not Phil Taylor. He said that after that final he would be back on the practice board as he had a match to play in Doncaster next week? The guy is simply the greatest ever sportsman the world has ever seen, dominating the purest form of sport known to man for such a long time, and yet I don't even think he's ever won a Sports Personality Of The Year Award?

Over-paid footballers diving about with their alice bands on isn't the word...I think it's Darts?

Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like a Sioux Indian locked in a Pioneer's sweatbox until he confessed to scalping the mexican chef, his spirit had been broken, such was the power and the intimidation of big Phil's un-gift wrapped presence.

Twas a great show of sportsmanship and an example of a what is capable if you're prepared to do the hard work and practice constantly..

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like a British soldier stationed on the North wall of isandlwana in 1879 facing 4000 Zulu warriors, he just didn't have the firepower in his armoury to cope with the Zulu-like onslaught that Phil 'The Power' Taylor threw at him in the form of a tungsten spear?

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like a serial killer thinking that the flimsy evidence thus far was insufficient to obtain a conviction, he'd just heard the letters D, N, and A eminating from the prosecution stand..

110 3 dart average?

He's in a whole different class, ain't he?

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like an Austrailian zoologist who considered himself safe and secure to observe the majestic yet life-threatening Stingray that is Phil 'The Power' Taylor in his natural habitat, immediately discovered the ruthless side to such a creature by receiving a short sharp shock to the heart in the form of a tungsten tail jab...Crikey?

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like a pet dog at the vets thinking that life was just too rosy sitting here receiving treats off this nice man in the white coat and looking forward to a brisk half hour frisby catching in the park, he'd just been diagnosed with distemper and had three minutes to live..

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like two football pitches being played upon week in week out with aplomb, gusto and merriment they suddenly face the harsh reality of a ice-cold wave of tungsten terror that is a frosty morning but only one pitch has the skill, fight, nerve and undersoil heating to cope and that was Phil 'The Warm Football Pitch' Taylor, leaving Barney frozen solid, redundant and barren.

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like an X factor semi-finalisist who'd been told by Simon Cowell that he was a shoe-in to win the competition, he found out at the last minute that Alexandre Burke was one of fifty three thousand kids and they were all busy on the phone singing Hallelujah!

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like a buffalo soldier dreadlocked raster stolen from Africa and brought to America he thought he could continue comfortably hunting bison, grazing his goats and worshipping Haillie Selassie, but when it all went wrong and he become enslavered he was left wanting, unlike his rival who worked hard and became the first black president of the United States of America which was Phil 'Midnight' Taylor.

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, unlike Shane Warne who could turn a ball on the flattest of tracks, he was not dissimilar to Mushtaq Ahmed in hoping that Shaiid Alfridi would be digging up the pitch during his run-in whilst the umpire wasn't looking only to find that he'd accidentally donned his moccassins instead of his favourite spikes, thus leaving the pitch intact and deeming his doosra worthless..

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like a chef who is happily chefing away making boeuf borginon with potato gratin day after day and night upon night receiving the very highest of accolades from the simple vintners wife to the mayor of San Sur Le Mer but then one day, Oh fateful day! he forgets to season his potatoes and can only be described as shocked, of the very shellest variety, at the onslaught of abuse, turmoil and culinary tungsten terror that his finest diner Phillipé 'Le Poweur' Taylor can bombard him with despite Taylors lack of under-stacking ability?

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like Lee Evans, he relied too heavily upon gimmicky face-pulling antics and out-dated Norman Wisdom routine punnage, whereas Phil ‘The tower of laughs’ Taylor called upon his vast reserves of Bill Hicks punnery which hit the mark every single time he approached the ockey. When he needed a treble twenty-double 18 combo finish, Taylor could be heard saying “I have never seen two people on pot get in a fight because one person thinks Barney is better than me, it is fecking IMPOSSIBLE. "Hey, buddy!" "Hey, what?" "Ummmmmmm...." End of argument. It is life..

Game, Taylor..

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like all of us he pictures himself in a boat on a river with tangerine trees and marmalade skies and naturally he's happy to continue this gondolaic vision of peace and serenity but what if he's asked to picture himself in two other Beatles songs where the word c*** appears? then his harmonious lifestyle with his wife Sylvia Van Barneveld (I once tried to call her on the phone but I only got her mother?) is left rocked in terrifying turmultuous tangerine-less tungsten trauma with tenaciously dank undertones as Phil 'fool on the hill' Taylor breezes in stage left and announces to all and indeed their sundry the other two Beatles songs. Leaving Barney a broken man.

Game, Poultry, Taylor...

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, like his dad...hold on...I've just got to give full doffage to the lobster for the last response....there, that's better...right, where was I? Oh yeah...because, like his dad, and his dad's dad, and his dad's dad's dad before him, Barney had worked as a young boy soliciting in the streets of Utrecht selling poppies from a tray....oh, hold on, Bobby did the Beatles thing didn't he?

Try again..

I thought Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles because, as he walked through the corridors of the magnificent Alexandra Palace he couldn't help but feel the steeped in history Palace's past; The fires that had ravaged it's walls, the hyooge Willis organ which once driven by two steam engines and vast bellows, the signs on the entrance informing the patron of the act of Parliament which created the Alexandra Palace and Park Trust, enabling the 'Ally Pally' to become "available for the free use and recreation of the public forever", but more importantly than this, Barney uncharacteristically missed those double because the girl in the cafeteria who'd witnessed him having a shit in Phil Taylor's dressing room had threatened to blackmail him if he didn't give here at least the amount of the runner's up winnings..

"Everyone Loves Darts" as was once said by, urm.... Darts.

Any post on here that contains the words "Vast Bellows" receives my utmost utrecht doff-age and it's with this in mind that I think we have concluded all business as to the possible reasons as to just why Barney was uncharacteristically missing the doubles last night and so ergo thus I hereby raise a cup of tea to two of the finest sporting gentlemen for bringing the world such amazing, enthralling and humourous entertainment...

...Oh and hats off to Taylor and Barneveld too.

As Leonardo di caprio once said when parading as a Doctor in Catch me if you can, "I concur".

Lobster, as always, a pleasure..

Shame the final coudn't have been a bit more closer/dramatic....hightlights for me were the barn and baxter match and obviously the nine darter....

I take it the shite on beeb 2 is where the crapper players play?


why dont they just all get together and have a big hug ffs.

The PDC at the Ally Pally is the tungsten equivalent of the Champions league whereas the fare being thrown badly on the Beeb right now is the Auto windscreen shield type thing..

The nine-darter was a thing of beauty wasn't it? I've seen it a dozen times or more and I still love it, love it I tell thee..

I remember seeing my first 9 darter live, twas at the old Kings club in Hamstead and Paul Lim did it against John Lowe, twas about '82 I guess. Butlins Grand Masters, Tony Green on stage checking at the time.